a collection of the random shit i find on the internet. and under my bed.
Alex Morgan - Sports Illustrated
(Soccer, Team USA)
“But this is more than just a program, this is more than a football legacy. This is about people. And if we can’t protect our kids, we as a society, are pathetic. So, that’s where I stand on it.”
Matt Millen on the Penn State Abuse Scandal, ESPN
two iranian soccer players are in “hot water” after an “immoral” post goal celebration. honestly every time i see iran in the news, this absolutely backwards country pisses me off.
hot water meaning they’re probably going to be executed like everyone else. probably by something primitive like public stoning or hanging. or literally put in boiling hot water.
a) Take a punch from Brock Lesnar
b) Set a pick on LeBron James
c) Get hit by a Brian Wilson 102 MPH pitch
d) Go on a date with Ben Roethlisberger
a) Brock Lesnar is the reigning UFC Heavyweight Title Champion. he is 265 pounds of pure devastation with a 9.6 strength rating, and a 9.3 takedown rating. (10 being the highest) oh not to mention the guy has an 8.2 speed rating. HE’S 265 BLOODY POUNDS. absolutely not. no way.
b) this involves putting your body in front of a 250 pound 6 foot 8 monster, who is probably got a running start. bottom line, you’re gonna hit the floor. hard.
c) i’ve been hit with an 80 MPH fastball. it hurts like hell. now stack another 20 MPH on top of that and you probably will cry like a 4 year old.
d) bottom line: get raped.
i’ll take B though. i got him by 15 lbs.
i don’t know why i even bothered capitalizing the kentucky derby. i mean kudos to the producer who drags a 30 second race into a four hour event. i don’t know whats more ridiculous, the people who go to extravagant lengths to dress up for such time challenged event, or the “expert analysis” after the race. come on, the fucking horses ran around a track, putting it in super slow motion does not make me appreciate it one iota more, much less make it “epic”. ugh. the “sport of kings” my ass, more like “the sport of vertically challenged individuals.” thats about as far as i’m willing to dress it up.
i’m sure i’ll have such a difficult time doing security for this, what’s the worst that could happen, someone gets bent out of shape because we don’t stock prune juice?